"hii! this is sudden but i'm very bothered with myself. So i'm starting college applications and every time i pray for help, i feel so selfish. like i'm only praying because i want something from God, and that really isn't what i want to feel after i'm done praying. I don't know. I keep doubting my faith, how do you completely surrender yourself to God? I'm scared, for college and for losing him in my heart :("
I like to believe that God cares about the details of our lives & what’s important to us :) Like relationships, college, getting a job, etc. He cares enough to know how many hairs are on our heads, He must care about even the tiniest details. “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7
I believe that He wants us to trust every aspect of our lives to Him & live a lifestyle where we’re utterly dependent upon Him. So I don’t think there’s anything wrong asking God for help, I just think it’s all in the attitude & what our motives are, if they’re completely selfish. I mean, it’s okay to tell God “God, this is what I want or what I’m hoping for.” But I think it’s important to switch our mindsets & hearts & be able to say “But God, Your will be done. You know what’s best for me. However this turns out, I just want to glorify You. I trust You.”
& as far as being afraid to lose Him in your heart, walking with God is a journey & a discipline. It’s not gonna feel right because it goes against our sinful nature. No way is it easy but you just gotta keep chugging & clinging to Him :)
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